Electoral Humor

I'm not normally a great one for making up jokes, but the mess after the 2000 election left me inspired. Gov. Bush's war has inspired a couple too. New for 2004, a few more.

Click here for The Electoral College Needs to Graduate.

The CEO scandals have inspired some jokes too.

Now there is hope for peace with Iraq thanks to all the common ground between our two countries: we both violate UN resolutions, we both screw over the Kurds, and neither has an elected president.

Why won't Bush and Cheney order pizza from Domino's? They think they're Little Caesars.

This is expected to be a unique Inauguration Day. It will be the first time the speaking platform held two lame duck presidents.

What's the difference between the New York Senate race and the World Series? In the World Series, both sides are from New York.

The news is out, the Supreme Court feels Florida must be certified. They hope with a couple years of therapy it can be released back into the general population.

Has anyone tried the new Republican version of monopoly? You go around the board once and declare George Bush the winner.

Then there's the Electoral College version of Monopoly: whoever comes in second wins.

There was some confusion in the Canadian elections. It looked like the Liberal Party had won another majority with the Alliance as the official opposition. Then George Bush declared himself the winner.

So did you hear the Electoral College is sponsoring a tennis tournement? Whoever comes in first is champion. Whoever comes in second is president.

Governor Bush is excited about getting to preside over the 2002 olympics, but the IOC is worried. They're afraid he'll congratulate just the silver medalists.

Understandably given the result, President-elect Bush has become a great fan of the Electoral College. He likes it so much he asked Congress to appropriate money for a new student union.


John Kerry is still figuring out how to be a candidate. When someone took some shots him, he dived to cover the secret service men.

It turns out the story about Kerry resuscitating a hamster is exaggerated. A hamster in another boat reports that Kerry's hamster was never in danger. This hamster said it in a commercial for Pleasure Boat Hamsters for Truth.

Plans have been made just in case Bush dies unexpectedly. Cheney becomes president, Congressional leaders will be summoned to the White House, and the nation will observe seven minutes of silence.

The CEO scandals have inspired some jokes too.

Click here for The Electoral College Needs to Graduate.

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