I'm not normally a great one for making up jokes, but the CEO scandals inspired me.
Click here for another time I felt inspired, the 2000 election.
Why do people distrust CEOs? The crooked 90% give the rest a bad name.
Why won't those nine miners in Pennsylvania trapped for several days ever make it to CEO? None of them thought to grab the whole sandwich.
The CFO, a director, the CEO, and the janitor were standing on a cliff. The CFO said, "I'm going to do something to save the company," and he jumped off the cliff. The director said, "I'm going to do something to save the company," and he jumped off the cliff. The janitor said, "I'm going to do something to save the company," and he pushed off the CEO.
When the convicts gathered in the exercise yard, what did one convict say to the others? "On the up side, this is the first time the company's entire board has been present for a meeting."
How many corporate executives does it take to change a light bulb? Eight. One to change the bulb, one to write off the bulb as a capital expense, one to tell the auditor the bulb actually belongs to a special purpose entity, one to tell the bulb company to bill an address in the Cayman Islands, one to buy the bulb company at an inflated price, one to arrange bonuses for the executives for making the purchase, one to arrange the golden parachutes when the bulb company purchase ruins the company, and one more to tell the press they deserved all that pay for the risk they took.